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One of the most frustrating things for addicts to deal with is the idea that change is a process rather than an event. Saying that change is a process rather than an event almost makes it sound like an excuse for continue acting out behaviors. This is not the case! There is never a valid excuse for acting out. All acting out behaviors need to be faced head on with responsibility and accountability. Change is a process rather than an event because you are in the process of learning to understand the language of the primitive part of the brain which functions on the premise of instant gratification. To re-wire your brain with better responses than addictive behaviors is a process that takes time and gentle consistent effort. This week be engaged in that effort by completing your daily planning sheet everyday. Monitor your progress and become more aware of your actions. You are in the process of changing if you’ll be doing that.
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Change is an internal process and in a very real sense you are your own creator. Certainly there are many different forces pulling on each of us which we cannot control but we can choose how to respond to them in a personal way. In order to change one must have a vision of what could be compared to what is their reality at the present moment. This is called “developing discrepancy.”
Creating your future picture statement as outlined in the
Innergold Manual will give your mind something to lean toward on a daily basis. When you think about it meaningful change is unlikely to occur without pre-planned purposeful engagement towards things that you set out for yourself. In the process of recovery it is helpful to gently remind yourself of where you are heading. Don’t become frustrated that you are not there yet – just keep moving towards your goals patiently and persistently.
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Recovery is better likened unto a process throughout time rather than an event. In the process of recovery there is generally many failed attempts at long-term sobriety. If one can learn and progress from their failed attempts then they are moving in the right direction. The only real failure is the failure to keep at it and to keep striving for the goal.
It is in the process of time that one learns the language of recovery. This new language is foreign at the outset and at first glance may seem easy to understand but the depth of understanding that is required for change to occur usually happens in time. It is like learning a foreign language. How quickly can one learn Chinese or Spanish? It takes constant practice and application over and over again to begin to understand. The same concept is true with the language of recovery. That is why the daily planning sheet is so critical to this process. The constant application of daily’s is immersion into this new language.
The terms acceptance, surrender, mindfulness, and awareness take time to incorporate at the deepest levels. It requires patience and persistent application of tried and tested principles. This can be frustrating for most addicts to hear because by nature they want the quick fix. One of the first things individuals ask me when I meet with them is, “How long is this going to take or how many session before I’m cured”? This type of thinking actually feeds into the addiction. There is no “cure” for things like this. There is a new way of thinking that can lead one in safe paths and that is what is learned through the process of time if one stays engaged with their daily planning sheet. There may even be some pretty major falls in the process but that is not so much of the point as what one learns from them and then what one chooses to do about them. In reality we are all changing every moment of every day. The meaningful question is, “In which direction are we changing today?”
