Help For Pornography & Sexual Addiction

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The InnerGold program is a way of life, not a program.

Presentation of the two-part brain.

“The quality of awareness or attention determines the nature of the consciousness that arises, and thus the action that takes place.  The only willful choice one has is the quality of attention one gives to a thought at any moment…the strain of attention is the fundamental act of will.” – Dr. Jeffery Schwartz

The mastery of life depends on the mastery of our thoughts.  Although we cannot choose which thoughts come to our attention we can choose what to do about them once we become aware of them.   This is the great challenge of recovery and change.  It all starts and ends with our thoughts.  Whatever thoughts we allow to take root will determine the actions that follow.   Many who struggle with addictions describe addictive thoughts as hanging around them like a cloud.

The power of mental force refers to your capacity to deal with unwanted thoughts. There is a great power within you that has the capacity to recognize unhealthy thoughts. This power within can then help you turn your focus onto more positive and healthy thoughts.

Start each day this week on a positive note. Too often we wake up and turn on the television or the radio, have caffeine, and rush out the door.  That’s prescription for depression and anxiety. If you wake up in the morning and practice the meditation outlined in InnerGold Treatment System (chapter 5) you’ve begun your day with an entirely different mindset.  By making small and simple changes you can begin changing your whole life.  All of these changes begin in the mind.  “Once you realize that thought is cause and life experience is the effect, then you realize that the greatest way to change your life is to change your thinking.” – Marianne Williamson

The other day I was reading and responding to a popular forum for pornography addicts. I ran into a couple interesting posts. One man who had been trying to get rid of his pornography addiction for quite some time was to the point of complete despair and was suicidal. Another young man had just decided it was time to fess up and stop his porn addiction and was hopeful in beginning his journey.

The young man said that he knew he could do it by himself through willpower and spiritual help alone. The suicidal man, once hopeful, said that he had been already trying for a long time, given up hope, and was so discouraged that there wasn’t any point any more. Why do I relate this story?

In recovering from porn addiction one must realize that they cannot do this on their own. Willpower alone is not sufficient. Using willpower alone is a defense the brain creates to always have “an excuse” to look at porn and act out again in the future. “I’m strong enough. I’m in control. I can quit anytime I want.”

Trying to do this by control and willpower alone is what leads a man to want to give up due to so many failures at the willpower thing. It is only when we admit that we need help and cannot do this by willpower alone that we can begin true recovery. This attitude is the beginning of surrender. One must literally give up “fighting” and realize that the addiction is more powerful than themselves. One must respect the power of pornography addiction and learn to accept that they will have addictive desires for the rest of their lives. The desires are normal and not the problem. What human being doesn’t have daily desires?

The key is learning to live a happy and productive life without fighting the addiction but rather learning to respect and live with the addiction. The attitude of fight is like cutting tearing off the leaf of a tree. The tree still lives and grows despite the “power” of tearing off a leaf. The path to recovery is about learning about the roots of the addiciton and digging directly at those roots. It takes time but it is possible. This is the attitude of recovery that enables the porn addict to gain the power to lean into the pain of desire without acting out on those feelings. As such sobriety is possible!

Learn more about addiction and how it affects you.