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Switch Points
“Many years ago, I worked in a Denver railroad office, where I was in charge of the baggage and express traffic carried in passenger trains. One day I received a telephone call from my counterpart on another railroad in Newark, New Jersey, who said that a passenger train had arrived without its baggage care. Three hundred patrons were angry, as well they had a right to be.
We discovered that the train had been properly made up in Oakland, California, and had subsequently traveled, intact, to Sal Lake City, then to Denver, and on to St. Louis, from which station it was to depart to its destination on the east coast. But in the St. Louis railroad yard, a switchman had mistakenly moved a piece of steel just three inches. That piece of steel was a switch point, and the baggage care that should have been in Newark was in New Orleans, fourteen hundred miles away.” -G.B. Hinckley
Every time you choose not to look at pornography when triggered or tempted is a switch point. When you choose to walk away you’ll be moving in a better direction.
Always remember that instant gratification and lasting contentment are two completely different things.
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I was reading and responding to a popular forum for pornography addicts last night. I ran into a couple interesting posts. One man who had been trying to get rid of his pornography addiction for quite some time was to the point of complete despair and was suicidal. Another young man had just decided it was time to fess up and stop his porn addiction and was hopeful in beginning his journey.
The young man said that he knew he could do by himself it through willpower and spiritual help alone. The suicidal man, once hopeful, said that he had been already trying for a long time, given up hope, and was so discouraged that there wasn’t’ any point any more. Why do I relate this story?
In recovering from porn addiction one must realize that they cannot do this on their own. Willpower alone is not sufficient. Willpower alone is an defense the brain creates to always have “an excuse” to look at porn and act out again in the future. Trying to do this by control and willpower alone is what leads a man to want to give up due to so many failures at the willpower thing.
It is only when we admit that we need help and cannot do this by willpower alone that we can begin true addiction recovery. This attitude is the beginning of surrender. One must literally give up “fighting” and realize that the addiction is more powerful than themselves. One must respect the power of pornography addiction and learn to accept that they will have addictive desires for the rest of their lives. The desires are normal and not the problem. What human being doesn’t have daily desires? The key is learning to live a happy and productive life without fighting the addiction but rather learning to respect and live with the addiction. This is the attitude of addiction recovery that enables the porn addict to gain the power to lean into the pain of desire without acting out on those feelings. As such sobriety is possible!
If you are struggling with an addiction and need addiction counseling, we can help. You can call us at 801-636-2080
With sexual/pornography addiction counseling making new inroads there is more information that ever available to help addicts. Many of these programs are focusing on the makeup of the brain, understanding how sex/porn addiction alters the brain, and methods to heal and strengthen the brain to become sober from porn. Innergold focuses on the 2 part brain and gives the tools necessary for lifelong sobriety. I agree that programs like this are the best proven way to gain sobriety. Similar systems out there are advertising a “CURE” to the addiction. I 100% agree that one can become sober for life; however, I cannot agree with the notion that there is a “6 week cure.” This “cure” mindset played into my own addiction and made it worse before I found Innergold. I have learned that sobriety from addiction is a process and not an event. It requires lifelong diligence to the tools given to stay sober. It gets easier and more routine as time goes on, but it is a process. Ironically, these systems also advertise ongoing support for a monthly fee. Obviously they believe in the ongoing nature of addiciton but advertise it as a “cure” for whatever reasons. I agree that ongoing support is necessary. Addicts must follow the daily habits and practices used to maintain sobriety for a lifetime.
Other systems out there take a spiritual/ecclesiastical only approach and although I agree that a higher power and spiritual balance is a vital part of the process, it is not the only piece.
Addictive tenancies don’t simply disappear after a few weeks of counseling. The triggers and burning do not suddenly go away one day. That is key to accepting and surrendering the addiction. Until this acceptance and surrender takes place sobriety is usually short-term followed by deeper relapses. Over time, triggers can be greatly reduced. I know that from experience. I wish as much as any other addict that there were some cure out there that could guarantee one will never have addictive triggers again. After being sober for a couple years, I have noticed a HUGE drop in triggers and the difficult times but they are still there occasionally. I have the tools and systems in place that help me stay on track though.
