Help For Pornography & Sexual Addiction

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Overcoming sexual addiction is a process and not an event. Many have become frustrated with this reality and wish that in one great battle it could all be over. It simply doesn’t work that way. The addicted part of the brain will try to survive and will attempt to find new ways to keep the addiction going. The education you’ll receive by completing this manual will teach you how to recognize what is called “the addictive voice” and will teach you how to use the tools and skills necessary to maintain sobriety.

This treatment manual is dedicated to those I admire and respect the most. It is dedicated to those clients and their spouses I have been privileged to work with. The information in this workbook is largely due to them. I have seen them change and grow as they willingly face head on the challenges and emotional pains of their lives. The hardest part of getting help is usually the first step. These clients’ would say to you that without help the likelihood of being able to acquire the tools and skills necessary to manage this affliction is almost nil. This problem does not go away on its own.

May you find the humility, courage, determination, and faith necessary to do whatever it takes to make the changes that you desire. … You too can learn these skills by getting involved in treatment and implementing the knowledge that you will receive by completing the assignments in this manual. Your commitment to read and complete the assignments will be tested frequently.

I was talking to someone today about the Innergold website and how it helps people recover from porn addiction. I talked to them how pornography manipulates the brain and creates sexually addictive behaviors. This person was intrigued and asked me a couple questions: How does the process of becomming addicted to pornography happen? So how does someone get better?

How does the process of becomming addicted to pornography happen?
I explained this by giving an understanding of our instinctive brain (limbic). Pornography effects the same part of the brain that houses the need for food, survival, and pleasure. I explained that constantly looking at pornography is like eating and drinking. Just like we train our bodies and minds to eat and drink for survival, if one looks at pornography habitually it then becomes a survival mechanism as well. Many addicts commit over and over that they will stop. “This time is the last time.” Then a few days or weeks later, the need arises and they repeat despite consequences or promises made not to. Hence, the addictive nature of pornography attaches directly to the survival part of the brain. Often when a porn addict is tired, stressed, angry, overly emotional, etc… they feed the need for survival with porn. Many porn addicts although tired, will instead stay up through all hours of the night feeding the need for porn instead of sleep since the high from porn gives a temporary fix to the need for sleep. That is just one example of many.

So how does someone get better from pornography addiction?
Just like becomming a pornography addict is a process, becomming sober is a process as well. Since the addict has trained their brain to have a need for porn as a survival mechanism there is a “repairing” process that must take place. It is not an overnight thing. The addicted brain wants so badly for the addiction to “go away” that excuse after excuse of an easy ways out are justified. Doing something good, confessing, hiding and justifying, or committing to ones self to “never” repeat are common short-term fixes that allow the addict to feel temporarily better. Although some of these temporary fixes are good, they are not the complete answer. The answer is in the process of recovery. One must learn the tools of recovery and put them into place for the long-term. Many of these things are daily activities that if done consistently will foster literal changes to the brain and create healing. The key to maintaining sobriety is using the skills learned in recovery for a lifetime. That doesn’t mean hours a day, but doing the daily simple things. This is what Innergold teaches.

A critical part to any recovery program is to have a plan that you can refer to over and over again.  Many who struggle with sexual addiction might get frustrated with plans because they seem to fail over and over again at staying sober.  The plan however is critical and a sound thing to return to.  It is good to look at slips or relapses and failed attempts not as failure.  It just means that you haven’t found the success that you’ve hoped for yet.  It is possible to find that success with a sound and dynamic plan.  A dynamic plan is something that is always moving and can change from day to day according to your wishes.

One of the core components to the InnerGold Treatment Manual is the daily planning sheet.  The daily planning sheet is set up to help you focus on the present day.    At the core of the daily planning sheet is a very personalized Future Picture Statement that you create for yourself.  The Future Picture Statement is a statement of what you dream you can become in time.  It is a powerful personal document that can help lead you in a positive and chosen direction.  It is pro-active rather than re-active.

If we do not have a specific plan for ourselves we are walking on thin ice in our current world as it relates to developing addictions.   One client put it this way, ”Life is like going on an Easter Egg hunt in a minefield.”

At the top of the daily planning sheet is your Future Picture Statement.  Then there is the section that focuses on your daily goals in four main areas: Physical, Emotion, Spiritual and Sexual.  It is in this section that you set small measurable and achievable goals for yourself day by day.  At the bottom of the daily planning sheet is a Lessons Learned section where you hold yourself accountable for your daily actions.  Unless you have a pro-active and self-chosen path to follow you will spend your time in re-active mode, which is opening yourself up to many unsolicited and unwanted things.  Wherever you are at in the recovery process this is something that you have the power to do.  Start incorporating this daily planning procedure in your life an it will help you move in a self chosen direction.

“He who every morning plans the transaction of the day and follows out that plan, carries a thread that will guide him through the maze of the most busy life.  But where no plan is laid, where the disposal of time is surrendered merely to the change of incidence, chaos will soon reign.” – Victor Hugo (1802-1885)