Help For Pornography & Sexual Addiction

How does a porn addict or sex addict get better?

What is the driving force?

I have heard various people talk about fear. I have a friend who’s wife told him that if he ever looked at porn again, she would divorce him. This may well bring adequate fear…or did it? Well, he is still married and has slipped on occasion. What about the church leader who uses fear with someone who confesses? Is this curative to the addict? For years I often thought this fear of man and even of God might “cure” me from my addiction. I was wrong. Fear only brought temporary success followed by relapse.

It wasn’t until I finally found sobriety through my counseling with InnerGold that I realized how to really get better. It was a literal 360 degree change in my views and perception of fears. I found that using external fears as motivation only created temporary moments of sobriety. Fear meant that I was trying to stop looking at porn for others. What I learned from this finally brought success. I learned to get better for “ME.” Yes for myself. I had grown to hate my addiction and what it did to me. This made me hate myself too often. I had a hard time forgiving myself. I thought that I had to get sober for everyone else. I thought I was secondary. This attitude of “everyone else” is what brings the fear of messing up. It actually drives into the addiciton and creates cycles where the addict slips up more often. Even worse, these slips create hating of ones self and feelings that we are worthless.

I have learned to be confident in myself. I have learned to “love” who I am instead of the former “internal conflict and hate.” On the occasions where I have had small slips, I do not justify but I also do not beat myself up or create feelings of hate from within. I move on and learn instead of dwelling. Instead of always living in fear of “messing up” I strive to live in personal confidence and set daily goals. I am sober for me. This “personal” sobriety from porn is what makes me a better husband, father, church member, and contributor to society. The point is that I no longer focus on the fear of the external but rather focus on internal progress. This is the difference between negative and positive recovery.

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“Resolve to remain as strong, as determined, and as highly enthused during the darkest night of adversity as you are during the sunniest day of prosperity.  Do not feel disappointed when things seem disappointing.  Keep the eye single upon the same brilliant future regardless of circumstances, conditions, or events. Do not lost heart when things go wrong. Continue undisturbed in your original resolve to make all things go right.”

- Christian D. Larson (1874-1954)

Use the future picture statement that you created and use it. Use it to mold the person that you want to be.

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A seminary professor was vacationing with his wife in Gatlinburg , TN. One morning, they were eating breakfast at a little restaurant, hoping to enjoy a quiet, family meal. While they were waiting for their food, they noticed a distinguished looking, white-haired man moving from table to table, visiting with the guests. The professor leaned over and whispered to his wife, ‘I hope he doesn’t come over here.’ But sure enough, the man did come over to their table.

‘Where are you folks from?’ he asked in a friendly voice.
‘ Oklahoma ,’ they answered.
‘Great to have you here in Tennessee ,’ the stranger said.. ‘What do you do for a living?’
‘I teach at a seminary,’ he replied.

‘Oh, so you teach preachers how to preach, do you? Well, I’ve got a really great story for you.’ And with that, the gentleman pulled up a chair and sat down at the table with the couple.

The professor groaned and thought to himself, ‘Great .. Just what I need ….another preacher story!’

The man started, ‘See that mountain over there? (pointing out the restaurant window). Not far from the base of that mountain, there was a boy born to an unwed mother. He had a hard time growing up, because every place he went, he was always asked the same question, ‘Hey boy, Who’s your daddy?’ Whether he was at school, in the grocery store or drug store, people would ask the same question, ‘Who’s your daddy?’

He would hide at recess and lunch time from other students. He would avoid going in to stores because that question hurt him so bad. ‘When he was about 12 years old, a new preacher came to his church. He would always go in late and slip out early to avoid hearing the question, ‘Who’s your daddy?’

But one day, the new preacher said the benediction so fast that he got caught and had to walk out with the crowd.

Just about the time he got to the back door, the new preacher, not knowing anything about him, put his hand on his shoulder and asked him, ‘Son, who’s your daddy?’

The whole church got deathly quiet. He could feel every eye in the church looking at him Now everyone would finally know the answer to the question, ‘Who’s your daddy?’

‘This new preacher, though, sensed the situation around him and using discernment that only the Holy Spirit could give, said the following to that scared little boy.. ‘Wait a minute! I know who you are! I see the family resemblance now, You are a child of God.’With that he patted the boy on his shoulder and said, ‘Boy, you’ve got a great inheritance. Go and claim it.’

‘With that, the boy smiled for the first time in a long time and walked out the door a changed person. He was never the same again. Whenever anybody asked him, ‘Who’s your Daddy?’ he’d just tell them , ‘I’m a Child of God..”

The distinguished gentleman got up from the table and said, ‘Isn’t that a great story?’The professor responded that it really was a great story!

As the man turned to leave, he said, ‘You know, if that new preacher hadn’t told me that I was one of God’s children, I probably never would have amounted to anything!’ And he walked away..

The seminary professor and his wife were stunned.. He called the waitress over & asked her, ‘Do you know who that man was — the one who just left that was sitting at our table?’

The waitress grinned and said, ‘Of course.. Everybody here knows him. That’s Ben Hooper. He’s Governor of Tennessee !’

- Author Unknown

‘The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of God stands forever.’ ~~Isaiah

YOU’RE ONE OF GOD’S CHILDREN!!!
HAVE A GREAT DAY!